I have identified as Queer since the age of 15. Back in 1990 I would say "I'm Bi" because I liked girls and guys. Then I met my husband, and things got weird but so easy. I fell in love with a man, and as a cis normative female, we made the perfect heterosexual couple. It's weird to think that I really never expected to have anything resembling "normal" in my life - and in 1997, heterosexual relationships were the norm.

As time has gone on, and I've stayed married to my husband, had five children with him, and kept my toe in the LGBTQ community (through friends, social justice causes, marches, working as an ally), I now realize that I would not be classified Bisexual, I'm Pansexual. Gender doesn't matter to me. I've always fallen in love with a person based on intellect, humor, compassion, generosity, and work ethic or responsibility. I just happened to find a life-long partner that has a penis and with my vagina, equals a pretty easy, privileged place in our society. And isn't that absurd?

When I think about my own sexuality, and how benign and relatable IT SEEMS, I step back. I pause. I breathe.

I just HAPPENED to fall in love and find a life partner in a man. It could have been a woman. It could have been a transgendered person. It could have been with a polyamory couple. It just COULD HAVE BEEN so much more...complicated.

Isn't that how it is for anybody?

They just love someone. No big deal. And yet, it is.

All of that to say...I'm hoping that perhaps, after reading this, the next time you see two people in love that maybe doesn't make sense to you, remember - it just happens. STEP BACK. PAUSE. BREATH. THINK. It's not their fault. There is no fault. Love is good in all things. The LGBTQ community need allies that will support, not supplant them. Be a good ally and keep up #theresistance.

Here's a great article: "The LGBT Trump Fallacy". Give it a read

Today's A to Z Challenge post brought to you by the letter...


  1. Thanks for sharing. I remember when a friend of mine came out to me as gay. I said I don't go around looking at people trying to figure out who they sleep with. It's not my business. He said it was so refreshing to meet someone who just relates to people as a person, that it's not all about sex. Good topic for Q.

    1. I'm glad that is how you proceed through life, sadly many people do care and are still fighting to suppress the rights of those whom they label as "alternative"/"sinners"/"weird", and that is why those that can - need to continue to fight for every American's right to be themselves and love whoever they love. ❤️💛💚💙💜

    2. Yes, thank you for sharing. We put so much pressure on people to conform. why can 't we just let them be?

  2. And we get so attached to the labels.
    Wouldn't it be great if the labels didn't matter because it all just -was-.
    Or is.

    1. Ah, but labels make people feel comfortable... Wait. That's not right.


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